I’m Mother of the Groom!
I think I have become quite wise over the years and have been married a very, very, very long time.
I don’t expect my new daughter-in-law to come to me for advice too often, but when she does, I’ll be ready.
Anyway, I thought I would go ahead and give her some good advice about marriage and husbands.
She is marrying a fantastic guy- he didn’t get that perfect by accident- he had me.
A Day Without Laughter is a Wasted Day- Charlie Chaplin
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I’ve borrowed these quotes from other people
Words of Wisdom for My New Daughter-In-Law
About Husbands:
#1.
A husband is someone, who after taking out the trash gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
#2.
Husbands are the best people to tell secrets to because they aren’t even listening.
#3.
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”-Rita Runder
#4.
A man has two emotions…hungry and horny. If he doesn’t have an erection, go make him a sandwich- Madlyinlove
#5.
My single best piece of marriage advice is to buy a duvet one size larger than the bed ~ It solves probably 25% of marital arguments!
#6.
Go to Bed Angry. It’s better to go to bed angry than staying up all night fighting – you’ll need your rest in order to win the fight tomorrow.
#7.
Correct His Driving. How will your husband know he’s going too fast unless you continuously slam the imaginary brakes on the passenger side of the car?
#8.
If needed, strap his phone to your forehead so you can pretend he is looking at you when you are talking.
#9.
Sometimes, stop and look at your new husband, and think “Damn you are one lucky man”
#10.
You may now update your Facebook status…
Words of Wisdom for My Son
You Are a Very Lucky Man and You Will Make Your Wife Very Happy!
Read Carefully:
#1.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices – you are one of them.
#2.
A marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.
#3.
To keep your marriage brimming with love, when you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up. – Ogden Nash
#4. 
When a woman says “what”? it isn’t because she didn’t hear you. She is giving you a chance to change what you said.
#5.
If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
#6.
Listening to a wife is like reading the terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: “I Agree!”
#7.
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” –Jerry Seinfeld
If at the end of the wedding party you are married to the one you love – then everything went perfectly!
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