I’m Mother of the Groom!
I think I have become quite wise over the years and have been married a very, very, very long time.
I don’t expect my new daughter-in-law to come to me for advice too often, but when she does, I’ll be ready.
Anyway, I thought I would go ahead and give her some good advice about marriage and husbands.
She is marrying a fantastic guy- he didn’t get that perfect by accident- he had me.
A Day Without Laughter is a Wasted Day- Charlie Chaplin
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I’ve borrowed these quotes from other people
Words of Wisdom for My New Daughter-In-Law
About Husbands:
#1.
A husband is someone, who after taking out the trash gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
#2.
Husbands are the best people to tell secrets to because they aren’t even listening.
#3.
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”-Rita Runder
#4.
A man has two emotions…hungry and horny. If he doesn’t have an erection, go make him a sandwich- Madlyinlove
#5.
My single best piece of marriage advice is to buy a duvet one size larger than the bed ~ It solves probably 25% of marital arguments!
#6.
Go to Bed Angry. It’s better to go to bed angry than staying up all night fighting – you’ll need your rest in order to win the fight tomorrow.
#7.
Correct His Driving. How will your husband know he’s going too fast unless you continuously slam the imaginary brakes on the passenger side of the car?
#8.
If needed, strap his phone to your forehead so you can pretend he is looking at you when you are talking.
#9.
Sometimes, stop and look at your new husband, and think “Damn you are one lucky man”
#10.
You may now update your Facebook status…
Words of Wisdom for My Son
You Are a Very Lucky Man and You Will Make Your Wife Very Happy!
Read Carefully:
#1.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices – you are one of them.
#2.
A marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.
#3.
To keep your marriage brimming with love, when you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up. – Ogden Nash
#4. 
When a woman says “what”? it isn’t because she didn’t hear you. She is giving you a chance to change what you said.
#5.
If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
#6.
Listening to a wife is like reading the terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: “I Agree!”
#7.
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” –Jerry Seinfeld
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